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Pulvis et umbra sumus [entries|friends|calendar]

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[24 Feb 2015|12:53pm]
Hell just keeps circulating. No matter what I do and no matter how hard I try. There is so much pure hatred circulating through me...and it hurts.

[10 Aug 2013|10:08pm]
[ mood | restless ]

I guess I was right - about everything. Folks always telling me I was some lunatic teen...but 3 years later and it's all the same.


[09 Apr 2010|01:24pm]
[ mood | odd ]

Life is profound - that is - aside from the fact that it is life.


[04 Dec 2008|09:50am]
[ mood | o.o ]

Well hello there, beautiful. ;)
You're looking simply ravishing today.
I could just eat you up...


[14 Oct 2008|07:25pm]
[ mood | amused ]

In a nutshell, darlin', "Fuck you" seems to suffice.


[01 Feb 2006|12:01pm]

Done for a reason.
1 admitted to| Rehibilitation

[29 Jan 2006|12:35am]
[ mood | Overly depressed. ]

Amanda's party was fun, but I just can't think anymore. I'm so confused about what to do about Cutter it's not even funny. I'm so screwed over no matter what I choose and either way, someone gets hurt. I can't take this anymore. And now I'm, according to Matt, starting all this trouble. Maybe he's right. Maybe it'd be better if I'd never dated Cutter because then I wouldn't know things. I'm so tired of this....(crying again)...sorry...bye.

1 admitted to| Rehibilitation

[06 Jan 2006|06:00pm]
[ mood | I dunno.. ]

[21:40] LIKE OHMIGAWSH: why
[21:40] Cutter: nooo reason! ^ ^
[21:41] LIKE OHMIGAWSH: ......
[21:41] Cutter: ]ooo but i can't
[21:41] Cutter: i will tell you Friday
[21:42] Cutter: *dramatic music plays* oh...no, you would not!!!
[21:42] LIKE OHMIGAWSH: *snaps fingers ghetto like* Oh yeas I would.
[21:42] Cutter: lol
[21:42] Cutter: well do as you wish, but you will not find out untill Friday
[21:42] Cutter: *bows*
[21:42] LIKE OHMIGAWSH: .....
[21:43] LIKE OHMIGAWSH: And.......pumpkin.
[21:43] Cutter: ...!
[21:43] LIKE OHMIGAWSH: *dramatic "burn" music*
[21:43] Cutter: lol
[21:43] Cutter: *breaks record player* muahahah
[21:44] LIKE OHMIGAWSH: ......
[21:44] LIKE OHMIGAWSH: *runs away*
[21:44] Cutter: NOOOOOOOO

4 admitted to| Rehibilitation

[30 Dec 2005|10:14pm]
[ mood | Relating my accounts. ]

Yesterday I went to the mall. I was supposed to meet Cutter there at like..2:30 and like...I was stuck there ALONE until 4:50. I called him from Borders at 2:30 and he answered and I was like.."Why are you still home?" and he said, "What time is it?". When I told him, he was like, "SHIT I'll be there in 30 minutes." Well.......30 minutes was a lonnnnnnggggg time. Really LONG time...yeah. So like...4:50 comes along and was waiting to leave when I see him, Tim, and Zach walking up the strip and I just stood there staring. All the sudden he looked up and I heard him say, "Please don't kill me..." He like...jumped on me and stuffs and I was like, "Get off of me." And he was like, "Don't be mad!" This is like...what happened:

Cutter: Don't be mad!!!
Me: (angrily) I'm not mad!!
Cutter: Yes you are! I'm soo sorry!
Me: Holy CRap! I don't fucking care!
Cutter: YES YOU DO!
[People start staring at ME!]
Cutter: Please...I'm sorry..don't be mad.
Me: Dmanit. I'm not mad!!!! (internally pissed off)
Cutter: Maryssa!! I'm sorry!!
Me: I said I don't Care!!
Cutter: Come get ice cream...
Me: No.
Cutter: Please?
Me: No.
Cutter: Why not?
Me: Because.
Me: No.
[I start walking away towards the escalator]
Cutter: [grabs my arm] Noooooooo..don't walk away.
Me: Let go.
Cutter: No..please come on.
Me: No.
[I see Kyle walk by the escalator but don't say anything]
Cutter: Come on..
Me: [walking back towards movie entrance] Hmpf.
Cutter: Oh come on.
Me: [calls my grandparents to find out where they are] They're waiting for me over there.
Cutter: [walking with me]


Grandma: How was the movie?
Cutter: We kind of didn't see it.
Me: Leaving now.
Cutter: [walks away sad].
Me: [Feels like a bad person]


....all's well though and I love Cutter. So BLEGH!

Cutter <3 <3


[28 Dec 2005|03:24pm]
[ mood | Scarred ]

I went to the city yesterday and the first thing I saw there were two tranvestite prostitutes. I can never go back to the city again.


[21 Dec 2005|07:00pm]
[ mood | Irritated ]

It's official. There's a BIG problem.


[10 Dec 2005|09:14pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

~=~Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worth while. The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea. They're swept away and nothing is what it seems. The feeling of belonging to your dreams...~=~

`+` And there are voices that want to be heard. So much to mention, but you can't find the words `+`

I hate it.

"Just dying to die"


[09 Dec 2005|02:19pm]
[ mood | I dunno. ]


The most funfilled conversation evaaaa [07 Dec 2005|08:56pm]
[ mood | High-top and punched up!!!YEY! ]

Christopher Curran and myself discussing stuff:

[20:38] Teen Angst Kills: OHMIGAWSH! HEYYYAAA
[20:38] Chris: nigga what?
[20:38] Teen Angst Kills: HEY!
[20:39] Chris: what's up?
[20:39] Teen Angst Kills: I'm...sick.
[20:39] Teen Angst Kills: You?
[20:40] Teen Angst Kills: or not
[20:40] Chris: nah i'm not sick
[20:40] Chris: i'm dandy
[20:41] Teen Angst Kills: Nice.
[20:41] Teen Angst Kills: I have..acute hearing psychosis,.
[20:41] Teen Angst Kills: or something odd like that
[20:43] Teen Angst Kills: And....yo chill niggazz.
[20:43] Teen Angst Kills: dat shizzle don;t fizzle my dizzle.
[20:43] Chris: haha
[20:43] *** Auto-response sent to Chris: UmmmmwalkingaroudnmyhousebecauseIcanyouloser...God.
[20:43] Teen Angst Kills: That.....was the coolest thing I've ever said.
[20:43] Chris: haha
[20:44] Teen Angst Kills: I...am going to say that forever.
[20:45] Teen Angst Kills: Dat shizzle dont fizzle my dizzle.
[20:47] Teen Angst Kills: God...I'm getting tingles now.
[20:49] Chris: eee
[20:49] Teen Angst Kills: eee?
[20:49] Teen Angst Kills: I'm getting ghetto tingles and all you can say is EEE!?!?!?!?!?
[20:51] Teen Angst Kills: My God, man/
[20:51] Teen Angst Kills: EEE!?!?!?!?!?
[20:51] Teen Angst Kills: WTF!?
[20:52] Teen Angst Kills: EEEEE!?!?!?
[20:53] Teen Angst Kills: ......k fine.
[20:53] Chris: you yelled at me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>:o
[20:54] Teen Angst Kills: .......I sorry./
[20:54] Teen Angst Kills: *hug*
[20:54] Teen Angst Kills: Or wait.
[20:54] Teen Angst Kills: I'm not allowed to touch you anymore!
[20:54] Teen Angst Kills: :-o
[20:54] Teen Angst Kills: *gasp*
[20:54] Teen Angst Kills: EEE
[20:56] Teen Angst Kills: We're sick children.
[20:57] Chris: ha ha ha
[20:58] Teen Angst Kills: .......
[20:58] Teen Angst Kills: What's with the 3 hour time period to type three words???
[20:58] Chris: idk
[20:58] Chris: i'm sleepy
[20:58] Teen Angst Kills: .....
[20:58] Teen Angst Kills: No excuse little mister
[20:58] Chris: don't sass me
[20:59] Teen Angst Kills: I will sass you!
[20:59] Teen Angst Kills: Don't you backsass my sassin' of ya.
[21:00] Teen Angst Kills: Christopher?
[21:00] Teen Angst Kills: OMG!
[21:00] Teen Angst Kills: CHRISTOPHER!
[21:00] Teen Angst Kills: HELLO!?!?!
[21:00] Teen Angst Kills: WHERE ARE YOU!?!?!
[21:00] Teen Angst Kills: x . x
[21:00] Teen Angst Kills: CHRIS!?!?!
[21:01] Teen Angst Kills: SHOULD I CALL AN AMBULENCE!?!?
[21:01] Teen Angst Kills: OMG!
[21:01] Teen Angst Kills: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[21:01] Chris: what?
[21:01] Chris: haha
[21:01] Teen Angst Kills: HE'S ALIVE!!!!!!!
[21:01] Teen Angst Kills: *tackles*
[21:01] Teen Angst Kills: I thought I'd lost you!
[21:01] Teen Angst Kills: Noooooooooo
[21:05] Chris: you hyper?
[21:01] Teen Angst Kills: ......
[21:01] Teen Angst Kills: ......
[21:01] Teen Angst Kills: ......
[21:01] Teen Angst Kills: ..........Is it...THAT obvious?
[21:01] Teen Angst Kills: Noooooooooo
[21:02] Teen Angst Kills: Mr. stools!!!! Speak to me!!!!!
[21:02] Teen Angst Kills: ....ok....
[21:04] Teen Angst Kills: kfinethanxbye
[21:04] Chris: sorry
[21:04] Chris: keep in mind..i am talking to other people
[21:04] Teen Angst Kills: Mmmhhhmmm
[21:04] Teen Angst Kills: YER MOM!
[21:04] Chris: pfft..nigga please
[21:05] Teen Angst Kills: psh...don't you nigga me, nigga.
[21:05] Teen Angst Kills: I heart you as a crazy ass nigga friend hearts his emancipation documents.
[21:06] Chris: haha
[21:06] Chris: that is really bad
[21:06] Chris: haha
[21:06] Teen Angst Kills: Ooo. but you love it.


Owner of a broken heart [03 Dec 2005|08:03pm]
[ mood | What the fuck do YOU think? ]

I just realized...how truly sad I really am. And I'm gradually getting more depressed by the moment. Isn't it funny how sometimes an incredibly good friend has decided for no apparent reason that they want to forget you ever existed and don't want to bother with you? I think it's funny. I guess....not really...
Wow..it really...like...hurts. Damnit.

Fuck it. I'll always love this kid like a brother even if he doesn't care.

2 admitted to| Rehibilitation

[15 Nov 2005|09:55am]
[ mood | Umm fine I guess? ]

Nothing fun ever happens. 'Cept I bought a cd last night and had my knee checked again this mornign at the doctor's...yah....no gym for me for a while.

I'm getting seriously worried about Nick. He's been telling me things that I have to pretty much keep to myself. It sucks...but a promise is a promise. My mom is trying to pull it out of me but I refuse to tell her. Besides, I've found my own way of getting things out of Nick easily. NO COMMENT! I dunno...

Oh...I found out that Yvonne saw Kayleigh..hahaha...more later.,


[11 Nov 2005|09:30pm]
[ mood | I don't know. ]

It's funny how things change so fast and you can do nothing to stop it. Gone again, Master Nicholas. Gone again.

Pictures from Ring night...

1 admitted to| Rehibilitation

[08 Nov 2005|09:28pm]
[ mood | Psychoticly amused. ]

Dear Diary,
Something is very wrong with this year. Things are happening that shouldn't happen and stuff's just not right. It's probably just me, but I know something's wrong.
PS: Nick is back so I am fearless and whole again. My other half is back!!!!!!I'm complete once again!!!

^^.....crying again.


[01 Nov 2005|06:16pm]
[ mood | Peachy ]


3 admitted to| Rehibilitation

[31 Oct 2005|10:04pm]
[ mood | I dunno really. ]

....You tell me to be strong and keep my chin up all the time, but then...how will I look to see where I'm going?....

She said, "Hey Mr. Confusion. Have you come back for more?"
One more night and I'm heading out the door.
So stand, stand out there and wait.
I'm grabbing my coat.
Just wait.

I try, but it gets me nowhere.
I'd fly, but this isn't a game.
I cry, but no one's even there.
And everything stays the same.

So I walked by and said, "Mr Confusion, what's new?"
He took my hand and then I knew,
Shit's always going down in hate.
I'm shaking in the cold.
Just wait.

I try, but it gets me nowhere.
I'd fly, but this isn't a game.
I cry, but no one's even there.
And everything stays the same.


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